Coping
by thesoulwithinme
Summary: Modern Day AU. OOC. Is there a way out of depression and the feeling of emptiness? You'd be surprised what someone is willing to do to help you cope. Everlark. Rated M for language, themes and future lemons.
1. Prologue

**Hey there! I am so sorry that I didn't write anything for so long! I had a lot going on and I had a really hard time with writers block and I'm trying to find a way to continue 'Reunited' but I'm afraid that I'll have to put it down for another few weeks.. But here's a little pick me up with this new story, which is a little depressing, but it won't be for too long ;)**

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Prologue

Do you know this feeling of complete emptiness? Not knowing where your sudden melancholy came from to begin with and now there is just nothing? Well let me tell you, I prefer being sad a hundred times over. See the thing with feeling blue is there will be an end to it, you know that at some point there will be things that can make you smile again, if only for a little while. But feeling empty, there isn't really a way out. Although people always say they want their pain to stop and rather feel nothing at all than feel like their heart is being torn apart or their chest constricting so hard that they think it's gonna explode, feeling nothing is not worth. Not feeling hurt, disappointment, anger or humiliation also means not experiencing pure joy and happiness, but most importantly love. I lived through all of these emotions and I'm glad I did because if I never knew them I'd probably still only be the shell of my former self.

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**I know it's short but just to be clear I already typed part of chapter 1 so it should be up sometime this week. Please review it is so motivating to get them! Tell me what you think so far.**

**Love you guys, xxx**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hey there! I am sorry it took me a little longer to get this out but here it is Chapter 1! Hope you enjoy it guys :) As always follow, favorite and review!**

**I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Suzanne Collins.**

**Love you guys xoxo**

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Chapter 1

Flashback:

_I don't know what day it is. It has come so far that I was lying in bed for weeks and I didn't acknowledge how many times the sun rose and set. If it weren't for Finnick and Prim I probably would've starved by now, not that I show them any kind of respect or thankfulness… I eventually will but I'm just not ready to talk to them, or anyone for that matter. Ever since he left I was depressed and the accident of my parents did nothing to help my situation. The stage of grieve was long surpassed and was replaced by a burning hole of nothing. My tears stopped coming a long time ago and even if I wanted to cry I couldn't because I feel as if my brain shut down or at least the limbic system or whatever part is supposed to allow and manage my emotions. I could probably stab myself and I wouldn't feel a thing... maybe relief that I'm out of this misery, but who knows what will happen to the others if I die too. I couldn't do this to Prim I can't let her alone she's still just a kid. Kid. What would he say if he found out I was two months pregnant when he left…_

Present:

"NO! _You_ are not entering her room! Don't you think you've done enough damage as it is?" Finnick yells at the person that just knocked on my door. I can't see who it is though, as Finnick blocks my view and now steps out of the room and shuts the door while ushering whoever it is presumably into my living room just down the hall.

I don't want to get up but my curiosity gets the better of me and I stand up and walk quietly out into the hallway to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Dammit, why can't you just let me see her, Finn?" Oh, no. What is he doing here. Never could I forget the sound of his deep voice. Gale. I can't face Gale, not like this. Before I can turn around again my nosiness keeps me in place so I hear every single word Finn utters and god do I need to hear this.

"Because she's a mess right now! Wanna know why, huh? Reason number one: you walked out on her after she told you that she's not willing to marry you or anyone for that matter. But you only proposed out of guilt in the first place, which she doesn't know since you never told her that you cheated on her with Madge, you fucking bastard! And I didn't tell her because I didn't want to add to her misery! Which brings me to reason number two: She lost _your_ child out of stress but she never even got to tell you that she was expecting because you left before she found out! And last but not least: Her parents died five months ago in a car accident!"

Gale tried to interrupt Finn a few times but gave up when he realized Finnick wouldn't shut up until he got everything out. I needed this. I needed to hear the truth to finally snap out of my stupor. I'm shocked at this to say the least but for the first time in a year I can feel something. Rage. I'm angry because I blamed no one but myself that he left and for everything and now after two years I find out that he cheated on me and to top it off with my best friend? How dare he come to my house!

At first I want to run out of hiding and confront him about it but I decide against it because yelling won't help me at all. So I go back to my room and call out to Finn.

I hear him curse under his breath before he calls back, "Be right there, Kat!"

After a while he enters my room and closes the door. "Who's out there, Finn?" "Uhm uh I, uh Ok listen Kat, Gales out there and he wants to see you but I'll send him away don't worry." He smiles softly at me though I can still sense his anger. "No, don't bother. Just send him in I'll talk to him." He looks a little startled at this since I never talk to anyone besides him and Prim. I even refuse to talk to my therapist, Haymitch Abernathy. "Are you sure? I don't know if that is such a good idea..." "I'll be fine Finn. Just get him in here. Please." He sighs but leaves the room to fetch Gale anyway.

When they come in again Finn tells me to scream whenever I need something. I nod my head and he leaves Gale and I alone, an awkward silence hanging in the air. He avoids direct eye contact and looks at everything but me. I sigh. "Why are you here Gale?" He doesn't respond for a while and finally he looks at me and says in a quiet voice, " I don't know. I was in town and I guess I just wanted to apologize for everything I did to you." I look at him, my face a mask of indifference although I'm screaming on the inside. "Then what are you waiting for? Apologize already." He looks at me a little surprised by my cool demeanor. He clears his throat and tells me how sorry he is for leaving me and that he wouldn't have left if he knew I was pregnant blah, blah, blah… I wait and wait for the one thing he really should apologize for but when he's done and still hasn't mentioned it, I loose it.

"You know, I've been very patient with you right now. I thought I'd give you a chance, but I see you didn't intend to be honest with me." He looks at me in confusion. "Don't you dare act all innocent when you know exactly what you should feel sorry for." I raise my eyebrows at him and I see clarity fill his eyes that is soon replaced with a look of shame. "You heard us, didn't you?" "Damn straight! I heard all of it you are a fucking liar Hawthorne! I blamed myself for all this time. I cried myself to sleep for months because I thought it was my fault you left and that I lost my baby, and you don't even have the guts to tell me that you cheated on me with my best friend at the time! How fucking dare you to come here!" My voice cracks at the last words as tears start to fall down my cheeks. "Catnip, I –" "Don't you Catnip me! Just get out. I don't want to see you ever again. Understand?" "Katniss, I'm sor-" "Just go. GO!" He looks at me one more time and leaves.

Only seconds after I here the front door slam shut, Finnick comes running into my room and sits down on my bed enveloping me in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Kat. I shouldn't' have let him in.", he mumbles into my hair while my tears stain his white shirt. I shake my head, "No, Finn. I nee-needed this to have some closure and sna-ap out of it." I'm still sobbing but I calmed down a little so I could at least talk. "I'm sorry, Finn. I never thanked you for putting up with me. I shouldn't have let depression pull me in but it was just easier. I'm sorry. Thank you for all you've done. I love you, Finn" I smile sadly at him and squeeze him a little. "Oh, Kat, I love you too. But don't be sorry. I'm your best friend I'll always be there for you, okay? You can't help how you feel, but I'm glad your back." He kisses the top of my head and smiles.

"There's one thing I need to do right now. Can you give me the phone, please?" "Sure. Who do you need to call?" "I'm calling my therapist. I think it's time I talk to Haymitch." Finn hands me the receiver and observes speechless when I dial the number. After a while my call gets through.

"Haymitch Abernathy's office, Peeta Mellark speaking. What can I do for you?"


End file.
